[after 5pm]
a security guard asks me to leave the space. i see him looking around the pieces with a woman, thinking might be another visitor until he comes towards me as i am still at my table, wrapping up my bag. when i approach the front door, three of them are searching and cleaning the space.
what if i keep reading or just simply sit on my chair until the security guard asks me to leave.
i don’t feel time as i am devoting to reading . i read more and drink less today.
a security guard asks me to leave the space. i see him looking around the pieces with a woman, thinking might be another visitor until he comes towards me as i am still at my table, wrapping up my bag. when i approach the front door, three of them are searching and cleaning the space.
what if i keep reading or just simply sit on my chair until the security guard asks me to leave.
i don’t feel time as i am devoting to reading . i read more and drink less today.
[around 4:55pm]
a young man is reading the sign - as he says like that, a ‘sign’ - for a while, then directly walking towards the chair on my right. i don’t have many listeners today, thus i have no expectation to have one at the end. i show smile as greetings while keep reading. he points out the sign and says ‘you say i can sit down so i come here’. he is the first listener after i change the seat to the same side with me. not so long, probably 5 less than 5 minutes, he leaves and says thanks to me, like others today.
a mother and a young lady, seems like her daughter, stop by. they are walking back and forth between the material table and the statement. i sense their movements around me is obvious. they both scan the qr code on my label.
a young lady with black hair uses the camera and seems like she is taking video for me.
more people are attracted by the camera today. i have more observers signing the paper. at some point, i am not sure if this is what i want, as at the same time, i don’t have many listeners today.
for people who may tempt to sit and listen to me but eventually not, probably out of social pressure, some turn to the camera and become the observer, others remain at the statement holder, stand still and listen to me from a distance.
a young man comes to visit with other two friends. he stands besides the statement for a while, i was expecting him to sit down. then he finds the camera table, looks like something makes him excited. he didn’t use it initially, instead he calls his friends to see and read the texts. sooner, he takes the camera and walks around to shoot from different angles. then he gives the camera to a friend. she captures me as well and signs her name. they leave but come back after minutes. the girl rushes to me and says ‘congrats’ with a thumb.
a man in pink t-shirt stand besides the statement for quite a while. i can feel he is staring at me. i tell myself don’t expect people who devote gaze to sit and listen. like this man, he eventually leaves with mouthing ‘thank you’ instead of sitting down.
hamin shows up in the middle of the table. behind her. i look up, she waves hands to me. we exchange smiles. i wonder how she feels seeing me here with this action, compared to the last winter session, she is on my co-teaching class. roles change. positions change. she scans the qr code.
i realize the position i am here now, cancels some potential conversations.
AY comes towards the statement. she is wearing a white coat. she directly takes the camera and pictures me. at the same time, a young man in a pink hoodie with a cap is sitting on a black chair - the same one as yesterday, someone in the defense left it here, right in the center point of my spot, facing directly the two tables. the black chair is not directly facing the reading table, he slightly turns his body towards me, watching me reading. he stays there so long that i almost would invite him to sit next to me on the listening chair. i wonder if the black chair was not there, would he sit on my chair? or just leave? AY walking backwards to me, observing.
AY sits on the black chair for a while after the man left. she is holding a camera, listening and capturing me. like herself, quiet. she takes many detailed images. i didn’t expect that. because while she is there, i sense she is also listening carefully, observing my tiny gestures and the surroundings, not always through lens but her own eyes. she leaves without greetings.
i turn around when pausing reading. a young couple are watching the painting behind me. they are leaning against each other. reminds me of yesterday another were at the same gesture while standing in front of my statement holder, watching over me.
Satona is walking with Nahom, seems like he is showing her way to our place, since we share the same area. initially she is looking around the material table. as this is not included during last time when i was reading for her alongside the river. she is the first person - as a stranger at that time - choose to walk to the bridge with me. later, she sits next to me. i can feel the calm through her gaze her body. i am guessing what’s her feeling today compared to the last april, i told her almost nothing about this project that time, simply i read, she listened and we walked to the bridge together at the end.
when a person decides to sit down, both of us shall feel the tension, a tension might begin with discomfort, then it flows into different dynamics. some goes smooth, some goes worse.
a lady is wandering around the space while knitting on her hands. she stands to my right for a while without facing me. in her hands, she keeps knitting. we exchange smiles.
an elderly woman comes to me. her stylish clothing makes me think of Agnès Varda. after wandering around the two tables, she ends up at the camera table - open the lens cap, take a quick shot of me without moving around, then turn off the camera, put it back, sign her name. we exchange smiles.
some people walk pass me, over me, as if i am someone coming into a wrong place, maybe i am, to them, but i must be here.
i focus on my text more. reading these words started from last september, my history flashes back. the more slowly i read, the more i am surfacing from the surroundings, to my own situation. my voice is becoming ‘water under the bridge’. during the last two days, the reading is like a magnifier to attract people. this has been fading, the thrilling peak. now i shall make it into a routine. my daily agenda. i shall read more for myself.
[around 12:30pm]
the temperature inside is not as chilly as i expected.
[around 4pm]
a mother and a young lady, seems like her daughter, stop by. they are walking back and forth between the material table and the statement. i sense their movements around me is obvious. they both scan the qr code on my label.
a young lady with black hair uses the camera and seems like she is taking video for me.
more people are attracted by the camera today. i have more observers signing the paper. at some point, i am not sure if this is what i want, as at the same time, i don’t have many listeners today.
for people who may tempt to sit and listen to me but eventually not, probably out of social pressure, some turn to the camera and become the observer, others remain at the statement holder, stand still and listen to me from a distance.
a young man comes to visit with other two friends. he stands besides the statement for a while, i was expecting him to sit down. then he finds the camera table, looks like something makes him excited. he didn’t use it initially, instead he calls his friends to see and read the texts. sooner, he takes the camera and walks around to shoot from different angles. then he gives the camera to a friend. she captures me as well and signs her name. they leave but come back after minutes. the girl rushes to me and says ‘congrats’ with a thumb.
[around 3pm]
a man in pink t-shirt stand besides the statement for quite a while. i can feel he is staring at me. i tell myself don’t expect people who devote gaze to sit and listen. like this man, he eventually leaves with mouthing ‘thank you’ instead of sitting down.
hamin shows up in the middle of the table. behind her. i look up, she waves hands to me. we exchange smiles. i wonder how she feels seeing me here with this action, compared to the last winter session, she is on my co-teaching class. roles change. positions change. she scans the qr code.
i realize the position i am here now, cancels some potential conversations.
AY comes towards the statement. she is wearing a white coat. she directly takes the camera and pictures me. at the same time, a young man in a pink hoodie with a cap is sitting on a black chair - the same one as yesterday, someone in the defense left it here, right in the center point of my spot, facing directly the two tables. the black chair is not directly facing the reading table, he slightly turns his body towards me, watching me reading. he stays there so long that i almost would invite him to sit next to me on the listening chair. i wonder if the black chair was not there, would he sit on my chair? or just leave? AY walking backwards to me, observing.
AY sits on the black chair for a while after the man left. she is holding a camera, listening and capturing me. like herself, quiet. she takes many detailed images. i didn’t expect that. because while she is there, i sense she is also listening carefully, observing my tiny gestures and the surroundings, not always through lens but her own eyes. she leaves without greetings.
i turn around when pausing reading. a young couple are watching the painting behind me. they are leaning against each other. reminds me of yesterday another were at the same gesture while standing in front of my statement holder, watching over me.
[around 2pm]
Satona is walking with Nahom, seems like he is showing her way to our place, since we share the same area. initially she is looking around the material table. as this is not included during last time when i was reading for her alongside the river. she is the first person - as a stranger at that time - choose to walk to the bridge with me. later, she sits next to me. i can feel the calm through her gaze her body. i am guessing what’s her feeling today compared to the last april, i told her almost nothing about this project that time, simply i read, she listened and we walked to the bridge together at the end.
when a person decides to sit down, both of us shall feel the tension, a tension might begin with discomfort, then it flows into different dynamics. some goes smooth, some goes worse.
a lady is wandering around the space while knitting on her hands. she stands to my right for a while without facing me. in her hands, she keeps knitting. we exchange smiles.
an elderly woman comes to me. her stylish clothing makes me think of Agnès Varda. after wandering around the two tables, she ends up at the camera table - open the lens cap, take a quick shot of me without moving around, then turn off the camera, put it back, sign her name. we exchange smiles.
[around 1pm]
some people walk pass me, over me, as if i am someone coming into a wrong place, maybe i am, to them, but i must be here.
i focus on my text more. reading these words started from last september, my history flashes back. the more slowly i read, the more i am surfacing from the surroundings, to my own situation. my voice is becoming ‘water under the bridge’. during the last two days, the reading is like a magnifier to attract people. this has been fading, the thrilling peak. now i shall make it into a routine. my daily agenda. i shall read more for myself.
[around 12:30pm]
the temperature inside is not as chilly as i expected.
photo by Aiyi Cheng