[after 5pm]
i am distracted by the buzzing surroundings today. people talking, documenting, making friends. someone is vacuuming. it’s the chaos that not meant to be quiet.it’s the chaos makes me dizzy, stirring the magnetic field squeezing the peace out. a flat mud.
the unnamed sorrow emerges before 12:30p shall come from knowing the bandage on facade is now completely taken off.
as days go on, line by line, reading from the beginning to the end, then reverse, i understand more what i have written. the effect from the bridge is deeper and wider than i thought.
to read for strangers or families or friends face to face, is to learn each relationship much more primitively, intensively, straightforwardly, and truthfully.
[around 5pm]
[around 4pm]
[around 3pm]
a conversation is happening on my right. sometimes overlaps my volume. i feel distracted but keep reading in the same volume. until a woman with a backpack comes, she reads the statement and sits down in front of me. we are in the midst of human voices. she is listening. when she is trying to detect, identify some meanings, she would frown, looking down. she sits for quite a while, then leave with a silent applaud and a ‘thank you’.
a woman with blonde hair is reading camera paper with her partner. they leave at first without any action. then she suddenly walks back and sign the camera paper, taking a shot for me.
i look at the material table, i thought it was my illusion so i pause reading, leaning towards and staring at it - the last agreement is signed. i have no clue about who signs it and when. i shall be concentrated on reading when this action happens. it might be the young lady who shows up around 2p.
i am distracted by the buzzing surroundings today. people talking, documenting, making friends. someone is vacuuming. it’s the chaos that not meant to be quiet.it’s the chaos makes me dizzy, stirring the magnetic field squeezing the peace out. a flat mud.
the unnamed sorrow emerges before 12:30p shall come from knowing the bandage on facade is now completely taken off.
as days go on, line by line, reading from the beginning to the end, then reverse, i understand more what i have written. the effect from the bridge is deeper and wider than i thought.
to read for strangers or families or friends face to face, is to learn each relationship much more primitively, intensively, straightforwardly, and truthfully.
[around 5pm]
the monitor asks us to leave, i continue reading like usual to finish the current page. when i just leave the front door, he says if i am doing a performance work, i shall stop and wrap up once the first broadcast happens 15 minutes before the closing.
[around 4pm]
i am reading with head bowed, pointing the lines, when Michael shows up in my left horizon. he does not sit down, instead, i see him is reading the agenda. an elderly man sitting in front me, i look up, a sincere smile, it’s Don, he smiles at me and says ‘HELLO’. we have not seen each other for a while. Micheal turns on the camera and shoot for me and Don. he is the first one taking some detailed close-up shots for the 9 small pieces.
he is deeply evolved with the bridge, for he himself, also the influence on me and my writing. he is the person lets me know the bridge and now has been listening for a while, then i see some small gestures and movements occur, feeling like he is about to leave, so out of instinct i say ‘stay’ faintly, almost mouthing, as i know i am going to read through the journal entry that describing the first visit inside the east railroad tunnel with him and Steveo - another friend. i have the impulse to let people evolved in the texts and sitting in front of me to listen their own related entry. i do feel the danger of it, as back to the time when i was writing these words about them i didn’t mean to share with them. yet it is this danger and uncertainty pushes me to do so. but it is rare to happen - my reading is continuing, the occuracne of the listener is random.
Don, Cynthia and Michael all devote certain time to listening my texts, not only my voice. i can tell simply because they bow their heads and lean forward slightly, eyesight casting on the floor, frowning, thinking, sometimes confusing. almost the same gesture like i am reading for people. seems like a more profound way to know someone is to listen to them instead of seeing. they have known me before this action. i have not told them, nor anyone else, the reading texts is re-organized in alphabetic way. i wonder if they feel a distance while i am reading for them, sitting in front of them today. Michael stays longer. we’ve walked on many sites referred in the texts. seeing he is trying to capture and understand my writing carefully, i suddenly understand ‘reading as walking, walking as reading’. my reading here is meant to be exposed, you are listening to me also you are walking with me. the more care you devote into the listening, the more you would know about a person.
i ignore most of my surroundings while Micheal, Cynthia and Don are interacting with me. i only notice a young man with a hat is looking at the camera table while Michael is listening, he might take some shots of me. he reads the agreement. he might try to sit down in front of me but the chair is occupied during that time.
he is deeply evolved with the bridge, for he himself, also the influence on me and my writing. he is the person lets me know the bridge and now has been listening for a while, then i see some small gestures and movements occur, feeling like he is about to leave, so out of instinct i say ‘stay’ faintly, almost mouthing, as i know i am going to read through the journal entry that describing the first visit inside the east railroad tunnel with him and Steveo - another friend. i have the impulse to let people evolved in the texts and sitting in front of me to listen their own related entry. i do feel the danger of it, as back to the time when i was writing these words about them i didn’t mean to share with them. yet it is this danger and uncertainty pushes me to do so. but it is rare to happen - my reading is continuing, the occuracne of the listener is random.
Don, Cynthia and Michael all devote certain time to listening my texts, not only my voice. i can tell simply because they bow their heads and lean forward slightly, eyesight casting on the floor, frowning, thinking, sometimes confusing. almost the same gesture like i am reading for people. seems like a more profound way to know someone is to listen to them instead of seeing. they have known me before this action. i have not told them, nor anyone else, the reading texts is re-organized in alphabetic way. i wonder if they feel a distance while i am reading for them, sitting in front of them today. Michael stays longer. we’ve walked on many sites referred in the texts. seeing he is trying to capture and understand my writing carefully, i suddenly understand ‘reading as walking, walking as reading’. my reading here is meant to be exposed, you are listening to me also you are walking with me. the more care you devote into the listening, the more you would know about a person.
i ignore most of my surroundings while Micheal, Cynthia and Don are interacting with me. i only notice a young man with a hat is looking at the camera table while Michael is listening, he might take some shots of me. he reads the agreement. he might try to sit down in front of me but the chair is occupied during that time.
[around 3pm]
a conversation is happening on my right. sometimes overlaps my volume. i feel distracted but keep reading in the same volume. until a woman with a backpack comes, she reads the statement and sits down in front of me. we are in the midst of human voices. she is listening. when she is trying to detect, identify some meanings, she would frown, looking down. she sits for quite a while, then leave with a silent applaud and a ‘thank you’.
a woman with blonde hair is reading camera paper with her partner. they leave at first without any action. then she suddenly walks back and sign the camera paper, taking a shot for me.
i look at the material table, i thought it was my illusion so i pause reading, leaning towards and staring at it - the last agreement is signed. i have no clue about who signs it and when. i shall be concentrated on reading when this action happens. it might be the young lady who shows up around 2p.
[around 2pm]
a young lady, with a brown coiled up. i see her walking gently, slowly on my right, approaching, like a cat navigating a territory. seeing around, sometimes she seems terrified and confused, but mostly, it’s a calm almost plain face. i am guessing her she feelings and thoughts while walking around. then she comes towards me, reading the statement, standing next to the chair and listening for quite a while without sitting down. (many people these days would rather stand right next to the chair instead of sitting down to listen.) later on, i see her sitting in a distance on my left, typing something on the phone then writing something down. she sits there for a while, then walking back to the material table. i am concentrating on reading, thus having no clear picture of what’s her action. she takes a picture of my label and disappears.
i see him, an old man with a walking supporter, deeply hunched, walking and wandering around different pieces. the steps are frequent, so his movement is relatively not so slow, which seems not in sync with his age. heading to my spot, he is passing through between the two tables without reading any text. then he stops right behind me to the left, sitting down the walking supporter. he pauses there for a long time. he might listen to me with a low hearing, he might just need a rest here. i might never know his intention for being there. i appreciate his presence as i feel accompanied.
i see him, an old man with a walking supporter, deeply hunched, walking and wandering around different pieces. the steps are frequent, so his movement is relatively not so slow, which seems not in sync with his age. heading to my spot, he is passing through between the two tables without reading any text. then he stops right behind me to the left, sitting down the walking supporter. he pauses there for a long time. he might listen to me with a low hearing, he might just need a rest here. i might never know his intention for being there. i appreciate his presence as i feel accompanied.
[around 1pm]
a woman in a green t-shirt with a risd logo on the left comes. she is the first person sitting down today without much hesitation. she listens for a short time and leaves with a smile.
[around 12:30pm]
before i start reading today, i feel a sorrow rising up. i cannot identify that. it makes me fearful if i could make it today.
photo by an observer on 5.27