[after 5pm]
i think it is because i tell myself it’s just another day reading. the impulse to write it down is looming even more.
i cannot guarantee that people have taken pictures would all sign the paper. some people not listed on the paper may give up the copyright under their willings.
more crowded today. i am gradually ‘off’ the stage today. i have 3 conversations, simple normal talk. all are triggered by the listeners, as they are asking for that. so i accept and respond. the transition between reading and talking in this way is much more natural and smooth than i expected. i am used to, still, thinking too hard about the transformation between a performative body and the daily body. i wonder how people walking around would perceive this situation. this ‘wonder’ fades as the conversation goes on.
immersive into the reading, embedding myself, point out every single line every single tone. sink into it. i am calming through re-encountering my own breathing, my aura. texture of my breath is not plain anymore.
i think more about the reading gesture today, especially how i use fingers to point out. i make it more confirmed and separate. instead of sliding into next sentence, my finger leave the paper and re-point the other. also, i use my voice to amplify the initial word from each sentence. it sounds unnatural, also makes more sense to me.
[around 5pm]
[around 4pm]
[around 3pm]
a woman with blonde hair in light orange blouse comes and stands next to me on the left, watching me pointing out lines. it might be because i look back and catch her eyes for the first time while reading, she begins to ask me if she could ask me something. she seems a bit surprised of the volume i have. after knowing it’s a personal journal, she devotes much patience to listen for a while. before she leaves, she introduce her name. i say my name but it turns out she does not hear it clearly at first. so i feel bad when pointing out the label on the floor, saying you could also read it on my label.
i think it is because i tell myself it’s just another day reading. the impulse to write it down is looming even more.
i cannot guarantee that people have taken pictures would all sign the paper. some people not listed on the paper may give up the copyright under their willings.
more crowded today. i am gradually ‘off’ the stage today. i have 3 conversations, simple normal talk. all are triggered by the listeners, as they are asking for that. so i accept and respond. the transition between reading and talking in this way is much more natural and smooth than i expected. i am used to, still, thinking too hard about the transformation between a performative body and the daily body. i wonder how people walking around would perceive this situation. this ‘wonder’ fades as the conversation goes on.
immersive into the reading, embedding myself, point out every single line every single tone. sink into it. i am calming through re-encountering my own breathing, my aura. texture of my breath is not plain anymore.
i think more about the reading gesture today, especially how i use fingers to point out. i make it more confirmed and separate. instead of sliding into next sentence, my finger leave the paper and re-point the other. also, i use my voice to amplify the initial word from each sentence. it sounds unnatural, also makes more sense to me.
[around 5pm]
a lady in red shirts with long black hair and a pair of traditional dangling silver earrings, sits in front of me after reading the statement. she seems not hesitate so much. i hold her eyes once she sits down and smiles. her face is mostly plain and calm without much emotion. she leaves not after so long.
[around 4pm]
a young lady with curly brown long hair and glasses is reading the statement and label, than, carrying a gentle smile, she sits down in front of me. she seems looking forward to listening to me. i look up at her at some points. sometimes she is frowning, looking down slightly. later on, she seems smile more often, like finally understands something. she sits here for a while, with her hands holding together on her legs.
while i am talking to the woman in orange, a young man in a wheel chair is wandering nearby. he approaches more when she left. his chair is close to my right, i read for him for a while. then, it might be he witnesses my conversation with the woman, he naturally starts to talk to me as well. i see he’s moving his wheel chair closer to the front, then he jumps into my reading and the journal. most of the time, during the conversation, i am listening to his life story, the story of his childhood, of this wheel chair, of the photos he took before, of writing dreams, of my major. he wants my social media at the end, i typed slowly on his phone. i am thinking about this slowness while he is waiting and staring at me typing, as if it’s been quite a long time since a finger touching the digital screen. his name is William.
while i am talking to the woman in orange, a young man in a wheel chair is wandering nearby. he approaches more when she left. his chair is close to my right, i read for him for a while. then, it might be he witnesses my conversation with the woman, he naturally starts to talk to me as well. i see he’s moving his wheel chair closer to the front, then he jumps into my reading and the journal. most of the time, during the conversation, i am listening to his life story, the story of his childhood, of this wheel chair, of the photos he took before, of writing dreams, of my major. he wants my social media at the end, i typed slowly on his phone. i am thinking about this slowness while he is waiting and staring at me typing, as if it’s been quite a long time since a finger touching the digital screen. his name is William.
[around 3pm]
a woman with blonde hair in light orange blouse comes and stands next to me on the left, watching me pointing out lines. it might be because i look back and catch her eyes for the first time while reading, she begins to ask me if she could ask me something. she seems a bit surprised of the volume i have. after knowing it’s a personal journal, she devotes much patience to listen for a while. before she leaves, she introduce her name. i say my name but it turns out she does not hear it clearly at first. so i feel bad when pointing out the label on the floor, saying you could also read it on my label.
[around 2pm]
he sits down after reading the statement briefly, an elderly man with silver hair and glasses. by the time, i am basically pointing out each line in the reversed order while he is listening. at one breathing moment, we randomly exchange the eyes, then he asks me if he could talk to me. it is the first time a participant trying to interrupt me verbally. my body responds before my mind figures out from the hesitation. i say ‘why not?’ he says the sound from other pieces annoy him, i smile without a word. he ask how i read, i explain my writing and the alphabetical reading. he says it’s traditional only reading alphabetically and somehow reminds him of a film, i say you are the first person notice this reading is not in a normal written order. he brings the pen on the material table to me and i wrote the name of film down on my left palm. he might not fully understand and see the whole picture of how these words are conceived and re-ordered, and why. or, he might understand it but still think i could do more.
less a minute, he returns, showing me the film called ‘Memento’ is in 2000. it appears natural to talk to him. he is also the first person i start to talk with in the center while pausing the reading. he is first witness, as well as the listener, of me ‘off’ the stage. there is more space to think about how to read and why.
i see Denise is slowly approaching while a man is photographing me. she reads the statement, agreements and sits down. we exchange smile, it is the smile firm but very subtle, like her footsteps like a cat. she sits down, she walks around, slowly, holding the phone to document my actions, sometimes smiling sometimes watching me with a faint frown. i wish she could notice the camera table. for a moment, she shifts the attention to the other pieces around me, then it returns, the attention. she is now standing behind me to the right. the movements are quiet and slow, until she decides to leave. i see her back from a distance, in a plain white t-shirt and blue jeans, the same white like the table, chair, and my shirt.
[around 1pm]
he is taking pictures, a young man with long hair. a wild photographer. i see him trying with multiple shooting angles, starting from the small clear table, coming closer to me, then sitting down for a while taking front shots, eventually standing behind the listening chair and putting the camera in a very low angle.
[around 12:30pm]
it happens to be a surging crowd when i enter the space today. i am walking around the pieces after taking off my shoes. i am not in a hurry for reading. a man with a blue backpack is around me vision, seems like he is going to leave this section but not yet. at some point, i walk directly back to my seat, and start to read swiftly. the man witnesses it and approaching me, asking me what i am reading during a pause.
photo by an observer on 5.29